Slower Pace Around Here...

Well for those I haven't spoken too since last Saturday, we've been on a emotional roller coaster around here. Most of you know we've been wanting to have another child and we didn't think that happened this month. But was having some weird stuff going on, spotting and cramping after my period and the cramping getting concerning on Saturday, I took a test and it was positive. So I spent 4 hours in the ER, got my hormone levels measured and an ultrasound. Baby was still in there and my hormone levels were nice and high, looks like I'm about 5 weeks. Then I went back and got blood drawn again on Monday so they could see if the hormone levels rose like they should be during pregnancy, and on Tuesday I found out they did rise. We've had two miscarriages in the past and the last one before Devin and this one have too many similarities for me to be set on the idea that everything is OK. The last miscarriage they followed me all the was till 6 weeks and it seemed everything would be fine and then I went for my check up at 11 weeks and they did an ultra sound and the baby's heartbeat had stopped. So I am defiantly taking care of myself like i should and praying to be peaceful and surrendered, cause we don't know what the outcome will be. God's will is always done and sometimes his will isn't the positive outcome and I know that I have to be patient and wait. That is really hard at times, its difficult not to look to much into things like today I'm not as tired or moody as I have been then last couple days so I keep thinking every now and then what if my hormone levels are dropping? I was reading in a book that being truly surrendered to god and it is a daily battle in dealing with this. This is truly out of my control and all we can do is wait. So we have been taking it east, trying to listen to my body if i feel tired or crampy. The beginning of the week was tough, the kids were having a hard time and so was I. Today seems better, like i said I don't feel so tense and grouchy. Having to rest more also showed me that I need to stick to my daily routine cause it looked like a tornado hit and i didn't have the energy to do anything with it and my poor husband, being the neat freak that he is, came home from work and cleaned everything. So today I am determined to keep up and not let it all go crazy around here and still rest.

We also decided that we are not moving. Housing can only hold our house for seven day past the available day and we were going to see if we could find a tenant, but decided that it doesn't seem worth it and after a small tid bit of advice (thanks Tracey) that maybe God didn't want us to move. Both me and Antonio probably had this in our brains but I guess sometimes it take a person or two to actually say it to you to get it threw. So we decided that we are gonna stay put for the next year and then see what looks like the best decision. After all the stuff happening around here with the baby I honestly do not feel like moving anyways. Well that's all for now...